May the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you.
Has your integrity ever been challenged in your workplace? It is a sickening feeling to find out that people with whom you work closely have suspicions and ideas about you that you were not aware and are, for the most part, untrue.
I recently went through a similar experience. It was, and still is, a struggle to trust those colleagues who spoke behind my back and used my own words against me. But I am still mostly upset about my reaction to the situation, both internally and externally.
At first after hearing of the accusations levied against me, I became internally defensive. In my mind I was going through all of the events in question repeatedly; scouring and detailing all of the “right” ways I had operated. Is this a natural human protection mechanism? Maybe, but it was more likely my self-centered attitude that such a “good” person as I could never and should never be accused of such things. I wasted so much time and energy trying to repair my damaged ego.
Externally I lashed out as well. I sent emails to lay out my position and demonstrate how I was completely blameless and the other parties were totally at fault. In our modern communication we tend to say things in email that we would never say in person. Somehow we become bolder when we are able to edit and craft our words for the maximum affect. This can be good in some business dealings, but not at all when dealing with personal issues.
I went to seek support and feedback from my direct manager and some other leaders, expecting total support and defense of my position. What I got was a real awakening. The feedback was that my initial actions were not seen as egregious. However, the way I reacted to the challenge that needed to be addressed. My defensive, combative manner contributed to the escalation of a situation that was really “not that big of a deal.”
First of all, I am thankful for such leaders and mentors willing to be honest with me and point out my troublesome actions. It was difficult to hear and still took some time for me to come around.
As Christians were are called to humility. Our example of Christ was one who treated his attackers with love and accepted his fate (cross and death) with dignity. It is not for us to decide or control what happens to us or how people see us. All we can do is affect our own attitude and actions. We must control the temptation (human nature) to fight and defend. If we follow His lead and walk with humility, we can deal with these external factors in a way that will enhance our environment and the environment of those around us.
I am not proud of how I acted but am comforted by the blessings and gifts that have been shown to me from this experience. At work it always seems that we are in competition with everyone around us. It is counter-intuitive to be humble and work for the advancement of others. But, that is what we must do. If God decides to bless us with more (success/advancement) this is not a reward but recognition that we are prepared to continue affecting our environments in new and more challenging ways.
Remember that most members are due for renewal over the next few months. Please keep your membership current to allow us to focus on serving you, our community, and other professionals wanting to join us in community.
Continue to pray for those looking for work, the Catholic Business League, and Catholic Professionals everywhere.
I am always,
Very truly yours, in Christ
Greg Mays
president@catholicbusinessleague.org
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